Today is the end of the term and the school year but also marks the end on an era in our house. Kitty, our youngest child, is leaving Playgroup today. As I type she is enjoying playing with her friends before a little party of games, sausage rolls, fairy cakes and jelly before I collect her. Then after a funfilled summer she will start Reception class at 'big' school. This is an exciting time yet also a sad time as after having a small person at home with me for the past thirteen years I will no longer be entertained and the entertainer. I know that the world is now my oyster in some respects as I no longer have a preschooler but yet I also feel incredibly sad to leave behind this time. As a mother I have loved these past thirteen years and often think back to times when my older children were little, especially when they are being difficult!
Whilst it's not always easy being a stay at home or work at home mum there isn't another job in the world that equals the rewards of sharing precious moments with your children. I have been lucky enough to see their first steps, jumps and hops. I have been lucky enough to go to Sports days, assemblies and help out in the classroom. Working from home is not always ideal but with five chidlren it is necessary as I need to know that I can still do these things as they are important. Having a large family means that little moments are incredibly important to each child. Last night I sat and sang and sewed with Lucy, as she made little leaving gifts for five of her friends in Year 6. Lucy has been in a mixed Y5 & Y6 class for the past year and has made friendships I am sure will last a very long time but her friends in Y6 leave the school today to head off to High School in September, which Lucy is struggling with and is very upset. She knows they are still in the village and will see them most days yet the thought of being left in a small class with only 5 other girls, who are not really in her friendship group, has deeply upset her. I hate seeing one of my children so distraught but I am sure these life lessons make them stronger and I am very lucky to be here for her now, when she needs me so much.
So the world maybe my oyster as I head towards a new era in my childrens lives, but I don't want the world, I want to be here, sat at my desk at home. I know I need to earn a living, especially as I no longer have the excuse of caring for a preschooler, but I need to do this from home. Yet I am not sure if I really can have it all? Let's wait and see!